Thursday, July 14, 2011
When I was in Teacher Training, my Yoga Life took precedence. I had so much homework, so many responsibilities related to yoga, that my brain was constantly focused on that. In the sparse free time, my brain was still dialed into yoga so I was bursting with inspiration and had to write it down before I exploded.
When I was in Teacher Training, my Family Life definitely suffered. I rarely saw my boys (my boyfriend and his 5 yr old son) even though we live together. Seems like I was always rushing out the door, holing up in my office to do homework, or coming to bed so exhausted I could barely even whisper good night.
Now that I am out of Teacher Training, it seems like my Yoga Life has taken a back seat to my Work Life. I have been putting in a gazillion hours on a project I care nothing about to pay the bills and spending any spare time working on a project I care immensely about that isn't yet paying the bills (but has potential to in the future). Again, I find myself putting my Family Life on hold - turning down invitations to spend time with people I love in exchange for the dream I have of one day taking the project I am passionate about all the way.
I justify it by telling myself and others that as soon as I can get this project off the ground I will have a multitude of time to spend with everyone, as I will no longer have to take on time consuming yet dull projects-that-pay-the-bills. This is such a conundrum for me. I know "life is what happens when you're busy making plans" but at the same time, I am the type of person who needs goals and aspirations and will never be happy just working for someone else for the next 30 years.
While Work Life has a firm grasp on me, my Yoga Life also suffers. I am keeping up my daily practice, but the inspiration and motivation I felt on such a regular basis during Teacher Training has now subsided into random spurts. I miss that feeling. My side project has the opportunity to combine my Work Life and my Yoga Life so I can get back to living that lifestyle 100% of the time - no more ridiculous client demands and unavoidable office politics.
I've been pondering this a lot lately. If I give my Family Life the attention it deserves right now, I may be passing on an opportunity to merge my Work Life and Yoga Life together which would make a ton more room for Family Life in the future. Yet, what if there is no tomorrow? What if all of the time I am spending on Work away from my family and friends is all I get?
I don't have some clear cut lesson or conclusion. I am just going in circles on how much should I prepare for the life I want to live vs how much effort should be put into the life I am actually living today? I guess only time will tell.....