Monday, September 10, 2012

Happy Birthday

Today is it, the day I set in motion almost 2 years ago. Back when I was signing up for yoga teacher training, I always knew I wanted my own studio. Becoming a yoga teacher was never about just teaching in an established studio for me, it was about bringing yoga to a community that had been lacking. About making that initial introduction of yoga to the chronically stressed out. 

Starting something new is scary. There is equal opportunity for acceptance and rejection. 50/50. Kinda makes me want to come up with some excuse to not go through with it. But not this time. Yoga's biggest lesson to me has been to trust. Trust that I have what it takes to make something happen. Trust that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Trust that there truly is no good/bad or acceptance/rejection - there just is what there is. If no one shows up to class today, it is what it is. If 20 people show up to class today, it is what it is. That internal labeling is what is scary, not the actual situation. Living up to expectations our Egos have fabricated for us. As long as I remember that, I know I will be fine. But sometimes knowing something with your brain isn't the same as knowing it with your heart.

The yoga community I come from is strong. Guidance for the newbies is shared between the teacher and the other yogis in the room. We work as a team to create a safe space where people can explore without feeling judged. Yet here I am, about to take on that role all alone. Yoga is just such an important part of my life, it has truly changed me. Introducing that to someone else can be intimidating, especially if there are no other yogis in the room to back me up that no one cares if you "look silly". How do I get people to let go all by myself? What if I don't get through to people and turn them off of yoga forever? What if I don't do this magnificent way of life justice? It's funny that my biggest fear is failing something that doesn't believe in failing. 

Success, failure, both, neither, whatever. Happy Birthday to Bent Yoga Studio. 


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