Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Ugh

I woke up to my alarm this morning and just groaned. Sinus pressure in my head and a sore throat. As much as I love spring, it is a one sided relationship. It enjoys making me miserable with pollen and drastic temperature changes. I threw on my yoga clothes and headed out the door. The door was unlocked - my boyfriend must have gone outside last night after I locked it and forgot to lock it when he came up to bed. Arrgh!  I got to the studio and laid down my mat, trying to muster a better attitude. Class began with pushups. Who can do pushups at 6:30am?!?!?! Class then moved into a flow that, I swear, combined every one of my nemesis poses and not one enjoyable one. I struggled through, keeping my Negative Nelly attitude up for the entire hour. By the time I left class, I just wanted the day to be done. Still want the day to be over, and it is only 8:30am.

The reason I let you in on my horrible beginning to the day is not because it magically has gotten better. Not even that I have learned some profound lesson. Just to show I am human. Sometimes it is just plain difficult to choose to be happy. Sometimes I just want to give in to the dark cloud so I do. Life is a cycle and there will always be good days and bad days. I realized my blog wasn't showing that. When I was happy and inspired I would sit down to write. When I was having a stressful or just plain crappy day I would hide out, not wanting to communicate with anyone. It painted a one-sided view of my life - that I am always full of rainbows and unicorns and delighted by every flower I pass. Although it is what I strive for, I am not there yet and have a feeling I am not the only one. So this post is about being real. Sometimes, you want to pull the covers back over your head and call a do-over. That's ok - I do too! Doesn't mean your yoga is "failing" or you are a bad person.

Without a little negativity sprinkled in every now and then, how will we recognize how good our lives are most of the time? I'm not going to get down on myself for feeling a little annoyed with the day, even though it is such an un-yogi-like attitude. Maybe next time you're having a bad day, or annoyed by something, just let yourself embrace it. Feel it fully, and then use it as the base for any good things - so the positive will feel that much sweeter when starting from below zero.

2 comments:

  1. Thank goodness! I sure needed this. Haven't been able to muster up the ability to blog lately. This might be why and it's all so true-gotta lean into it.

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  2. Thanks Sarah! I agree - just get back on the horse. Made me feel so much better to just put anything out there, didn't matter what. Kinda broke through my black cloud and I ended up having a productive day!

    Jenn

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