Friday, November 11, 2011


It's been a while. It wasn't a conscious decision to stop blogging, but moreso it kept being pushed down the priority ladder as other things filled my list. Then it got to a point of no return. Every so often I would think of something I wanted to blog about but it wasn't "huge" enough to lead with if I were to jump back in. Silly, I know. But it kept me away. I have known this feeling in other places in my life as well - where the more time you let pass the harder it is to step back into something.

Well, today it finally IS something huge enough to break down that imaginary wall.  It's 11/11/11. I know it is just a date to most of you, but to me I truly believe there is significance. I started seeing the number 11 just recently - maybe 8 or 9 months ago. It wasn't something I noticed before in my life. But this past year, it has been very prevalent. I would look at the clock and it would be 11:11. My oven timer randomly froze at 11 minutes until I hit start again. I have have 4 grocery store trips that the final bill was $111 and some change - just try doing THAT on purpose! My website analytics, pricetags on clothes, license plates of cars I'm driving behind - pretty much anywhere there are numbers the number 11 makes itself known to me. One day I saw the time as 11:11 on my computer then I saw it again a few hours later. How could that be, you ask? My computer inexplicably changed itself to PST timezone after I saw it the first time! I would say I see the number 11 at least twice per day and most of the time more. Yes, it could be I was just noticing it more, but why just recently? Why haven't I noticed this number stalking me the past 34 years of my life?

After the first few months of novelty wore off, I began getting really frustrated. What did it mean??!??! There had to be a reason I was seeing it this often. I don't believe in coincidence - especially when my plane's takeoff time was 11:11a out of gate 11. I went to see a psychic that had given me an amazing reading before. She had nothing to offer. I wanted to scream.

So I meditated on it. Every time I wold see an 11, I would quietly close my eyes (as long as I wasn't driving!) and I would clear my mind. I would breathe. I would wait to see if any clarity would seep in. For a few months, nothing happened (except me fitting in small meditations multiple times throughout the day). Then one day, I opened my eyes and saw something I hadn't seen before. Instead of the number 11, I saw two sides to a path. Like the paths I always walk my dogs on - a dirt path with woods on either sides. I saw the 1's side by side not as an eleven but as that barrier forming a path in front of me.
1   1
1   1
1   1
1   1

With a clarity I have never known, I began to believe these 11's were reinforcing I was on the right path.  Thinking back, they started coming into my life when I quit my job. They increased during yoga teacher training. They stepped up their game even more when I was building

The logical part of me still knows this could be completely wrong and they are just there by coincidence. But if every time I see one, I get motivated to keep moving down this path I have chosen, is there harm in believing it? I mean besides the chance the men with a straight jacket may end up at my door? I will never know the true reason (if there is one) that all numbers lead back to 11 for me. So why not go with an explanation that has positive results?

So many times we want to explain stuff away and not believe because we may get laughed at or looked down upon. But we miss out on so many opportunities that way! Who cares what someone else thinks - if I get a kick in the pants every time I see an 11 because my gut believes it is the universe telling me to keep moving down this path I have started, why does it matter if that it the "true" message or not? It is the one I am choosing to take from the experience. What is happening in your life that you are allowing the logical part of your brain to explain away as coincidence when, given the chance, your gut may think its more?

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