9 (?) years ago I bought my house. It was a great little bungalow for me and my dog, Kylie, back then - 3 bedroom, 1 bath, just shy of 1,000 square feet. Perfect for my first house. Then I added another 65 lb pound dog and it began to feel a bit claustrophobic. Suddenly I was stepping over dogs at each turn. I was driving out to the country every chance I got to let the dogs run off their energy while I got my fresh-air fix. The noise of the city began to grate on my nerves. I started thinking about moving, and a new obsession was born.
Unfortunately, the thought of upgrading my house appeared to be the pin that popped the housing bubble. I could literally watch the falling value of my house on Zillow.com until my house was worth a fraction of what I owed. Failed attempts at selling over the next few years just made my obsession grow larger.
A year and a half ago, my boyfriend and his 5 year old moved into my already bursting-at-the-seams house. Suddenly, toys were constantly underfoot because they had no where else to go. Half of my clothes went into storage to make room in the closets. Potty breaks had to be timed just right since there was only one bathroom for the three of us. Chaos reigned supreme - video game sound effects, multiple tvs going at once, battery operated toys reciting the alphabet....Calgon, take me away!
I would spend hours just looking at houses online and dreaming about how wonderful it would be once we could get to the perfect house, in the perfect location. I could picture it all in my head - a finished basement for the boys to be as loud as they want. My home office upstairs away from the hubbub. For a year I did this - bookmarking houses to show my boyfriend even though we couldn't move until this house was sold, daydreaming about being on a lake or having enough property for horses (or both!). I researched furniture for the new house. Looked on craigslist for boats. I planned for the holidays I could finally host because there would be enough room for more than 4 people to come visit at once.
During this year, I also went through Yoga Teacher Training and began my morning routine of heading to the studio for a sweaty hot vinyasa flow every day. One of my teacher's favorite sayings is "you're exactly where you're supposed to be." I would let that bounce off me time after time without really absorbing it. When he would say it, sometimes I would rebuttal in my head "so I'm supposed to live like a sardine?!?!" or something equally as clever.
Then, one day, it hit me. I WAS exactly where I needed to be. Had I moved when I wanted to, I never would have gone through yoga teacher training. I certainly wouldn't have made the 6:30a hot vinyasa class every morning if I had an hour drive instead of a 10 minute one. By being forced into chaos at home, I searched out peace elsewhere. I found it in yoga. And now, yoga is changing the whole course of my future. It is getting me in the best mental and physical shape of my life. I am working towards incorporating it into my livelihood. My circumstances took yoga from being something I enjoyed every so often as a workout to an entire lifestyle. Yoga has changed my eating habits, my view on relationships, my perception of my own body. It has made me happier than I have ever though possible. And it came into my life because of where I was.
I can't say I don't still dream of the day we can afford to move, but I find myself looking less and less at houses online. When I do get the itch, I notice there isn't the intensity involved anymore. I know in my gut we will be able to move when its time. When I am supposed to. For now, I listen to the Mario Brothers theme song coming through the paper-thin wall and smile, knowing I am right where I'm supposed to be.