Chicken ain't Nothin but a Bird

We went to a family reunion yesterday. It was held on a beautiful farm with a few horses, some fresh veggies and chickens running free all over the place. We saw Alex looking at the chickens and Kyle said "that's where your chicken nuggets comes from".

My sister's reaction really made me sad. As soon as Kyle said it, she was like "Ewww! Gross! Don't tell him that!" That right there is what is wrong with our society. It is ok to eat the animals, just not to acknowledge where your food came from? If the thought of equating a living animal with a meal is too gross to tell a 5 year old, shouldn't actually feeding them the meal be just as gross? I don't get it. It is almost like people feel if you don't think about it then the connection doesn't exist.

I feel like where my sister is coming from is where so many people come from. They get grossed out thinking that an animal may be alive and mooing one day then on their plate the next. This is because no one brought up the connection early on in their life, so they continue with the mentality that it is taboo to doso. Alex is not a vegetarian. He likes his chicken nuggets and occasionally a hamburger or fish sticks. But at every meal we discuss what it is he is eating, so he is making a conscious decision to eat something that was once living. When we see a cow or pig we make sure he knows that is the hamburger or bacon he eats. That way if he still chooses to eat it, he has that connection and maybe a little more appreciation that something gave its life for him to eat.

I wonder what sort of world we would live in if everyone took their head of out the sand. If they allowed themselves to make that connection between a living animal and food. Would they not consume quite as much meat? Would they have a little more compassion and a little more respect for the food they are eating? Maybe a little more appreciation? Try it and see. Have open discussions about where your food came from at dinnertime. And if you find it too gross or distasteful to have at the dinner table, shouldn't that tell you something?

Alex

Sometimes I get sad I found this yoga path so late - already well into my 30s. I think about how different my life might have been if I had learned to love myself more during those vain teens and 20s years. If I had had this confidence yoga inspires in me. If I had known what the word equanimity meant earlier in life.

I just dropped something a few moments ago upstairs. From down below I heard a child's voice: "Jenn, are you ok?!" and when I answered "yes" he responded "good, I just wanted to make sure I didn't need to kiss a boo boo". That's Alex, my boyfriend's 5 year old son who lost his mom a few years ago and lives with us full time. The response made me smile because it is so typical Alex. He is easily the most compassionate kid I have ever met.

I don't try to sway him to being vegan, but I also don't hide why I don't eat animals and we talk about being kind (to animals as well as people) a lot. He came home from daycare the other day saying "we learned about fishing today. I wasn't happy because it seems mean to put a hook through a poor fish. They're so much littler than you - is that what a bully is?" I told him yes, we are being a bully when we purposefully do things to hurt others.

He was having a few weeks where he started yelling at the teachers when they made him mad. We weren't sure what to do, since he is usually very respectful at home and doesn't yell at us.
On a whim (and because we were out of ideas), I started meditating with him - just 3 minutes each night. He giggles and squirms the first minute or two but usually by the last minute he is still. I talk to him about letting go of his thoughts. About feeling his breath on his upper lip. About noticing but not reacting to whatever it in his mind. I know it is a probably a bit over his head but I can only do what I know. One day he came home and said "I was good at daycare!" I asked what he did during his day and he said "there was 1 time I got mad when the teachers asked me to put my toys away." I asked "so did you yell at them?" and he said "no, I let it go".  I was like "what did you let go?" and he said "I just (took a deep breath in and deep breath out) and let it go. I wasn't mad anymore." I was floored.

If you ask him about pretty much any toy he has gotten in the past 2 years, he can tell you who gave it to him and when. He often brings this up out of the blue: "remember when grandma got me this stuffed animal for Christmas? That was really nice of her." or "Thank you for getting me this piggy bank for my birthday (last year)". Just random. One time, we were in the store and out of nowhere Alex proclaimed "I'm the luckiest boy!" When asked why he answered "because, I am" - who can argue with that?

I don't think there is a day that goes by that Alex doesn't ask if he can help me with something. And he is more consistent than I am with his Pleases and Thank You's. And since that first time in the store, the word "lucky" has made a daily appearance (he will get a juicebox out of the fridge and say "I'm really lucky to have juiceboxes. Some kids don't have them."). At dinner he always starts off conversation like a little adult saying "Dad, how was your day?" or "Jenn, did you have fun at yoga this morning?" There is a family yoga class coming up this month and he is SO excited to be able to come do yoga with me in the "big room" - he brings it up almost every day.

Looking at how compassionate, appreciative and respectful he is, I am realizing maybe yoga came into my life at just the right time. Having Alex around and old enough to comprehend when I would come home from teacher training class and talk about what we learned with my boyfriend might have made more of an impact on Alex than I thought. Being so new to things I think I speak of them a lot more than someone who has been living this way for decades already. My boyfriend has always been the extreme opposite (loves meat, very much about his own family unit and doesn't care what is happening to anyone else, etc) and even he is now choosing to shop at Trader Joe's and roll out a mat along side of mine every once in a while. 

I am beginning to see this journey isn't for me and my own life, but rather how I can inspire others to live similarly. It was brought into my life when I could share it most. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity. So blessed to have these people in my life to share in my journey.

You are very pretty

Today I was rushing around to get a gift for a friend's daughter. I was in my own world and speedwalking through the mall crowds to get to the store I needed. Once there, the line had about 14 people in it but just one cashier. People were moaning and groaning around me, which was making me want to join in to moan and grown at how slow the line was moving.

After I finally got what I needed I essentially sprinted through the store, trying to make up for the half hour I'd wasted in line. Partway through the store, I heard something that stopped me. A little voice that said "You are very pretty". I had no idea who it was or who they were talking to, but for some reason I slowed and turned. There in the aisle behind me was a little girl, probably 13 years old with gorgeous red hair, in a wheel chair. When I turned around, she looked straight at me and repeated it: "You are very pretty". I melted. Here I am rushing around not taking time to appreciate anything around me, and this little girl was trying to catch up with me just to pay me a compliment. I smiled and thanked her, and let her know that she, too, was very pretty. She smiled. I went on my way - in an infinitely better mood than when I was standing in line moments before.

It is amazing to me how much of our mood and emotion comes from those we come in contact with. Standing with negativity in line for a half hour translated to my mood being negative. Sharing a smile with a little girl made my whole mood change.

If that is all it takes - a quick smile, or compliment, or helping hand - to change those around us, why don't more of us do it? Why do we wait for others to influence how we feel, instead of taking charge and setting the mood ourselves for those around us?

Try giving out random compliments this week and see what happens. Maybe you'll change someone's whole day, like that little girl did for me.

Yoga sans mat

For you non-yogi's out there, I know some of you feel yoga is just a form of exercise. You have no clue why there is an almost cult-like following. To you, it is a toss up between going to a yoga class or a spinning class or a kickboxing class. You let the teacher's wisdom just bounce off you, and you get bored when poses are held too long. I know, I was there. 

But at some point, a change happens. You start to see how doing something on your mat can translate to your real life. How the true lessons in a yoga class are things like compassion, honesty, acceptance and non-judgementalism (totally a word). You practice on yourself in class, then you take it out into the world. 

Yesterday was one of those days I practice yoga for. I had been working all day on the computer and couldn't wait for Raina's 6p class to stretch out my severely compacted body. It was the only thing keeping me going. Around 3:30 my aunt called needing me to take her to go pick up a prescription at Walmart after work. She had just gotten released from rehab after a heart attack, can no longer drive, and lives alone. Horrible as it is, my first instinct was to say no since I knew I couldn't both take her and make it to yoga. I was trying to think of how I was going to turn her down, when I realized this was a better opportunity to practice yoga than going to class. Sure, I wouldn't get a physical practice, but how often do you get to help people who truly need you? 

So I worked on coming to terms with missing my class in exchange for helping my aunt. I thought about what it must be like for someone as severely independent as she was to be at the mercy of others for something as simple as getting to the store. What it must feel like for the highlight of your week to be getting out of the house to go grocery shopping. Slowly, the frustration I felt about missing class began to subside and began being replaced by an intense gratitude that I have the ability to go where ever I please, whenever I want to. 

Needless to say, when I took her I was at peace with the decision. Even the 4 hour wait for the prescription didn't phase me when I saw the excitement in my aunt's eyes that she would get to shop for that long. 

Removing yoga from the picture, I still would have chosen to take my aunt. But I would have resented it. I would have been snappy and huffed and puffed at the waiting time. But because of constantly practicing compassion and acceptance on myself, I was able to transfer those lessons to the real world when it was truly needed. And that is true yoga.